Life of a Floridian

Episode 1

I went out to read in my hammock today 'cause it was 80 degrees... but it was too cold... so I came inside.

Episode 2

Driving up to the Walmart parking lot in Clermont to get a 360degree fireworks show for New Years Eve.

Episode 3

Went food shopping. Saw people in short shorts and winter coats. Thought nothing of it.

Episode 4

Saw a facebook status about someone up north eating White Castle. Wept softly.

Episode 5

Fuimos de compras. No se puede entender nada de nada a nadie más en la tienda estaba diciendo.

Episode 6

Going out for a walk in January.  Sun tan lotion, bug spray, and a coat.

Episode 7

It's snowing!!  Oh wait... that's pollen...

Episode 8

Sunny and beautiful out.  Dark and pouring rain.  Sunny and beautiful out.  15 minutes have passed.

Episode 9

Seasonal allergies 365 days a year.

Episode 10

Watch a man get into the passenger side of his car and look confounded at the empty space where the steering wheel should be. 

Episode 11

Want to own a home?  You'll either be paying into an HOA every month to cover the cost of a gate that doesn't work and for people to tell you what you can and cannot do with your property... or you're in the ghetto.  If you're not in the ghetto, you will be soon.

Episode 12

Raining in the backyard, sunny in the front.

Episode 13

Native Floridians - people born and raised here - are the minority.

Episode 14

Having The Walt Disney Co. on your resume is not all that impressive considering the majority of the people living here can say, "I used to work for Disney."

Episode 15

Want to make a left out of this parking lot?  NOPE!  Right turn only, U-turn 50 yards ahead.

Episode 16

Speed limit 50.  Traffic light every half mile.