Have you heard?

You know Ted Turner, Bill Gates, Bob Iger, Rockefeller, Rothschild, J.P. Morgan, etc etc, right? They're some of the richest men in the country because they own the biggest corporations and you can look up to them and hear about them and even buy their products, but you will still never be as good as them. We can agree on this, right? That status is pretty much held only for those men and their children who take over for them...

Well, there's one man named Gary who is richer and more powerful than all of them and to this man, they are equal to us! That's how awesome Gary is!! Now, the government has been keeping this man a secret because they don't want you to find out about him.. and they tell you stories through the media about Bill Gates and Steve Jobs to distract you from what's really going on...

How'd I find out, you ask? Well, this other guy by the name of Johnny Castel works for Gary and he was sent out to tell people about his corporation. Now, Gary's corporation is so huge that it sells everything you could ever want or need but, on top of that, if you work for him no matter what age, race, or financial background you come from, when you retire, he'll give you $100,000,000,000 dollars. This is no joke. He believes in equality and that everyone should be able to be rich.. but if everybody is rich, nobody would be so you have to prove that you are a good part of his corporation. It really isn't hard. All you have to do is buy his products instead of those other guys, and they're actually better products because they work forever! If something does happen to break, even if it's entirely your fault, all you have to do is bring it in, tell them what happened, and they'll give you a brand new one absolutely free for as long as you work for him.

But back to this Johnny Castel guy.. he's basically the owner's son and was traveling all over America to tell people about this corporation, but those other rich guys didn't like that... they knew they'd be out of business. They told him to stop, but he didn't want to disappoint his father and he knew how important it is that we find out about this corporation so he didn't. Well, they got a hold of him and they tortured him. He still refused to stop.. so they killed him.

What?? Of course it happened! Why haven't you heard about any of this before, you ask? Well, it happened before you were born and those bad guys are good at keeping secrets from the common people, especially about something they know they made a mistake on... but there's a book about him that you can read and you can still work for Gary and get your $100,000,000,000 when you retire! How can he pay for that? Well, he's tax exempt of course!!

You only have to work for him one day a week and use his products. That's all! If you really want to get in good with him, you can sign over 10% of your paycheck to go towards spreading the word of his company to the rest of the world so that they can be part of this as well! Oh, and be sure to tell your kids about Gary and teach them the skills they'll need to work for Him from the day they're born!

No, you can't meet Him or see Him, not till you retire.. but He's watching you work and live on His surveillance cameras to be sure you're not betraying Him... and you can talk to your local Manager who can talk to Gary through the telephone for you, but trust me, He exists. There's all this proof!!

I trust in Gary. Do you?

An artist's rendering of Gary... See? he exists!