I want to go Home

This is a poem about suicide, though it wouldn't really seem that way.

"I want to go Home.."
said her lips as they part
her hair blew the wind
her eyes were the stars
she looked to the sky
as a tear drew a mark

"I want to go Home.."
were the words to her tune
that she played on her pipe
that she sang as she flew
and she spread out her arms
and she looked to the moon

"I want to go Home!!"
cried the girl to the night
her ears' pointed end
her eyes' constant light
but they stung from the poison
and she shut them up tight

"I want to go Home.."
was the last song she sang
for the beautiful world
to remember her name
as she became innocent
and peaceful again

Cynthia Smallwood
2003

Look around, you're not alone
Because everywhere at once is Home

I'm Sorry

This one was written for an ex boyfriend. He's not in my life anymore.

i'm sorry
i'm sorry
it's all i ever hear
what's everyone so sorry for?
it's not like i can feel.

my feelings
my feelings
they think that i'm so weak
how can they say i have no feelings?
when there's dropplets on my cheek

the tears
the tears
they're falling from my eyes
who's to say it doesn't hurt?
i can't stand all these lies

my heart
my heart
i can't take it anymore
when is all the pain to stop?
i'm sick of playing whore

a whore
a whore
i gave my life for men
where else can i find love i need?
but they always pretend

a fake
a fake
that's all they ever were
why didn't i see it at first?
but now my life is over

my life
my life
there's nothing you can say
except that you were sorry
that you treated me that way

Cynthia Smallwood
1/24/03

This was inspired by ex boyfriend and 9/11.


Here we are two frozen bodies
trapped 
in the cold expenses of our
survival
I reach out to the river as if i could find something
there

as if i were searching
for a long lost brother
like a key like a sign
that everything will be
alright

we built this place where we can keep our shit
till 
time 
runs 
out and the coldness
subsides

inside
i feel like the sun never shone so bright
upon the river that is our home
our burrow
our place where we can be.
free

i feel like the clouds like i could fly 
among the certain shapes 
which
entertain
me
each
day
as we lay by our home
in the sand

wondering what's really ours
and what
is
damned



Cynthia Smallwood
2002

My Toes

I found a bunch of old stuff I had written in a Documents folder on my computer.

My Toes



Hi, my name is Goobley Gerk
And the guys make fun of me at work :(
None of my toes are exactly the same
Would you like to know all their names?
This is Sally, she's the smallest one
And Andrew, he's a lot of fun
Susie hates to be touched
But Kenny likes it very much
Harry likes to collect lint
And Steven is a little bent
Sarah's nail is pointing up
But Thomas sinks into the rug
Allan is my biggest toe
But the smartest of them all is Joe
I'm glad you stopped to meet each one
The guys at work like to make fun
They think these names are strange for feet
But toes by any other name wouldn't smell as sweet!!

Cynthia Smallwood
2001